i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
