the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
