too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm both gender and math confused
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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