He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
