I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
