i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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