the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
