and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
