he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
