As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
