She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
babies were throwing up all over the place
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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