did you get engaged???
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
