I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
