you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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