I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
