do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
