you guys were way drunker than both of me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
