Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
