In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
