I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
