you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
