Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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