pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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