So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
