great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
