idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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