Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
