Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
