I am spending my child support on dildos
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
