Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She said her name was "party"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I deserve this hangover.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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