There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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