i would punch a child for taco bell
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
