On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
