mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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