you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
