Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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