I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
