the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He has the fingertips of a God
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