Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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