Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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