Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
