In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
