question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it's not cheating when I paid for it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Randomize
