He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
