Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
