i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
