my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
