and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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