And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
