I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
